Saturday, September 11, 2010

If You Order a Tadpole....


...he might arrive with friends. Nine other friends to be exact. And half of them might arrive floating. The other 4 will be swimming and waiting for a new home. So, you'll have to go to the pet store. Because the container they come with is only good for two.

Once you go to the pet store to get a new home, the pet store owner might suggest a 10 gallon tank. For all the frogs you are sure to have.

And once you buy a 10 gallon tank, you'll need plenty of water to go in it.

Once you have the water in your 10 gallon tank, you will need a filter for all that water and the waste product 5 tadpoles and frogs produce. And you find out that these frogs can escape (after your husband begins to learn a little more about these creatures using his super power of reading for information). So, you'll need a lid.

When you buy the filter and a lid with a nice light, you'll notice that your frogs have no where to hide. And your husband will send you back to the store for a cheaper lid. No light he says and though you protest that your frogs are on an outside wall of your home (and you remind him he keeps the house at a chilling 65 degrees at night), he sends you back.

So, you'll go back to the pet store to return the lid and you'll find a ten dollar piece of wood. From Asia.

Once you buy a ten dollar piece of drift wood, your husband will make fun of you. In your defense you will tell him that in order for the frogs to hide, ten dollars worth of something was going into that ten gallon tank with the cheap glass lid and the filter.

Once your husband makes fun of you, you'll have to go back to the pet store to see what else dumb you can buy.

So, you buy a poster background for your ten gallon tank. And though you insist it is an image of the edge of the pond, your family thinks it's a land poster. They make fun.

Now that your tadpoles have a ten gallon tank, a nice filter, an exotic background, and a ten dollar piece of wood to hide behind, the water turns the color of tea.

The color of the water sends you back to the pet store where you find out that it is the ten dollar piece of wood in the tank that is turning your water the color of tea. But it's ok. Because it won't hurt the frogs. Or you can take out the ten dollar piece of Asian wood and boil it. And that might help.

So, you decide to leave the wood submerged, unboiled. And enjoy tea colored water which you tell the frogs is much like the murk in which they would normally live.

But then you notice some of the frogs are getting really big. And some are not so big.

So, you begin to observe the frogs at feeding time and notice that the big frogs are total bullies and they shove the whole pellet in their mouths at once. To find out what to do, you go back to the pet store.

Back at the pet store they tell you that these big frogs are likely females. When you report this to your husband he says it figures.

So, you try to make sure that the little frogs eat, but big frogs really don't share. So, you pull out the original habitat not made for 5 grown frogs. And you decide to rescue the little frogs.

So you grab your trusty net (the one you bought with all the other paraphernalia that the pet store folks insisted you must have when they saw you coming) and go chase some bitty frogs to save them from big, giant frog neighbors. You succeed and place them into their own small tank.

Once they are in the new tank, you realize the space you have set aside doesn't have enough room for three habitats.

And you begin to wonder if the small frogs appreciate the rescue operation and realize they have nothing to hide behind. And your hermit crabs need new shells to grow into because one of your guests at your 12yo's sleepover describes the fights and burrowing (into sand not gravel- which is what you have and said boy actually asks if you know pet store guy and he is surprised that pet store guy would give this advice. Perhaps it is because pet store guy always sees you coming) that hermit crabs do.

Which means....another trip to the pet store. To buy something else you NEED for your tadpole kit which you implored your husband for because it would only be $27.95. And such a great experience for the kids.

But then you'll learn that these tadpoles for your kids have the amazing potential to live with you longer than your children will.

This is just so you know the facts...so you know what you are getting into...

...If you Order a Tadpole!

18 comments:

Kim Monaco said...

Thanks for sharing - I absolutely love this post! I'm smiling ear to ear.

Great!

Jamie Saunders said...

Hahahahaha - love this post - it greatly summarizes those experiences that are only going to be X amount of dollars! Laughing with you - sometimes it's all you can do!

Amy @ Hope Is the Word said...

Cute! :-)

I boiled our tadpoles on accident last summer. If you're so inclined, you can read about it here---> http://www.hopeisthewordblog.com/2009/06/15/we-herpetologists/

Eva Marina said...

Thank you! I loved reading this post, made my night. You now have me debating whether I really want to buy my son a tadpole next spring... hmm...

Kylie said...

oh wow that is hilarious....makes me think that letting the kids catch them from our drainway on the drive next time it pours isn't such a bad thing (even though they would be toads).....cause then we can always just let them go...so funny, but so typical LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

On point, Heather!! Great piece.

Lisa in Ft. Worth

pinkim said...

This is so funny...I love it! So, do the little frogs like their new hoe are they getting bigger?

Anonymous said...

Your post reminds me of piece I heard several years ago on NPR. A woman bought tadpoles for her kids 18 years before, and Gilly the frog still lived on. She was wondering just how long-lived they can be.

You can read about it here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17547979

Too funny.

Jana

Diane said...

Very funny post. But I am sure you are not thinking it is that funny. lol.
Blessings
Diane

Michele said...

I love this! So funny. I don't always post a comment, but I adore your blog!

Jimmie said...

LOL! We just go to the river and catch tadpoles, bring them home and put them in a big plastic tub. We're so low-tech. :-)

Crow Family of 5 said...

See, I did it the easy way, obtain free tadpoles from pond, watch them grow into frogs and then set them free. I have enough pets and certainly don't need more to feed. Loved the post!! One word of advice from somebody who's been there done that with hermit crabs. My boys had two that they dearly loved. One died and traumatized him for life. After this I did some research and discovered that we were not giving them what they needed to survive. Your crabs will die if you don't provide this. The pet stores don't tell you any of this by the way. You must provide them with several inches of material that they can bury in. Mine are in sand mixed with coconut fibers. It needs to be deep enough so that they can completely bury themselves. They also must have both fresh water and salt water. If the crabs can't molt, they will eventually become overstressed and die. The website that literally saved my remaining crabs life (about 4 years ago) was www.hermitcrabpatch.com. You will find everything you will ever need to know there. Good luck with both the frogs and your crabs!

creeksidelearning.com said...

Hahahahahahaa! Looking at my own frog tank right now (an upgrade from that grossly inadequate tadpole habitat thing that has a measly 2 square inches of swimming room) with lid, filter, background picture and turtle dock. A frog who, by the way, no one pays any attention to but me. We had to take a piece of furniture from another room and find some place for all the stuff that was on top of it, so we could put the tank on it. Sigh. Wish I had seen your post about a year ago. Oh well. :-) ~Julie

sara said...

Thanks for the warning! Wonderful post!

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Zombiemommy said...

Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

too funny! Now I am fully aware of what possibilities lie ahead if I dare to get some tadpoles!! yikes!

Heather, can you tell me about the framed artwork above the frog tanks?
Amyinwi :)

Barb-Harmony Art Mom said...

We had toads and they were noisy at night...for two years I listened to them bark at night...all night.

We finally found another family that wanted a pair of barking toads.

Note to self....don't let the kids convince you that pets are "biology" project. :)

Loved your post.